This is a story that has inspired me in a lot of ways. It is probably the earliest story that I remember my father telling me as a kid. It is also probably the root of many of my personal views in my life, no matter how egotistic and idealistic they might be. I think it’s also the cause of my deep rooted concern and appreciation for semantics. I know you’re probably wondering how all of this can possibly be related to a story that I heard when I was 5 years old, but hopefully with the knowledge gained in one semester’s worth of creative writing courses, it will all make sense soon.
There was once a very bored sultan in some ancient Arabian city. Let’s assume it was Agrabah because this story will seem more ordinary in the context of Aladdin and his Disneyfied magic lamp. He used to frequently go out with his grand vizier in search of amusement amongst his citizens by disguising himself as a regular plebe of the town and walking through the city streets. While wandering through the town, he was constantly listening for aural diversion and providing himself and his grand vizier with plenty of lofty discussion to fill in the vacant times of rolling carts and street rat chases.

One day, while in disguise at the local market, he began posing questions to his grand vizir for the sole purpose of passing time in conversation rather than encountering delight and intrigue in their own wisdom. He asked, “Grand Vizier (the sultan treated him more nobly than I), what do people need more than anything else?”

“Food,” the grand vizier replied immediately with a tacit air of obviousness. Before the sultan could respond in the affirmative, a bold beggar on the side of the street responded to refute their conclusion.

“Only if you are hungry,” the beggar said to the veiled sultan. The sultan considered the beggar’s point internally but not particularly wanting to respond to such an unwanted interruption, he continued the conversation with the grand vizier. Inside the sultan’s mind, he couldn’t truly agree with the grand vizier’s conclusion in light of the more correct assertion of the beggar. People only needed food when they were hungry, or else it was useless. Furthermore, food was only one of the basic needs of human existence and he would be very disappointed in himself if he found that most of his subjects only had food to live with.

In continuing with his grand vizier, the sultan asked, “What do people want more than anything else?”

“Money,” the grand vizier said, again implying that answering such an obviously answered question was obviously a waste of his time.

Again, the beggar offered his own clarification to the vizier’s answer and said “Only if what you really want is for sale.” Not knowing the noble post of his accidental comrades, this time his voice sounded much more like a mother correcting a incredulous toddler than a beggar correcting a nobleman on the street.

The sultan had to again concede that the beggar was once again more right, despite the original rightness of his grand vizier. At this realization, the sultan pushed past the horrible smell of a man who has not bathed in weeks and not changed clothes in longer, and went over to the beggar and began to ask him about his history and education. “My name is Madheman; I have always been a beggar and my parents were beggars,” said the now surprised beggar. “I have lived on these streets with my only business as asking for alms and my only entertainment as listening to the passers-by.”

Amazed at the wisdom of this vagabond, the sultan inquired as to why he did not have any real job or profession. To this, Madheman responded that he has always wanted one but no merchant or shop owner would hire a homeless street person like himself. “Come with me to the palace,” the sultan said and he brought the beggar to his castle and also brought him into the secret of his disguise, both against the protestations of the grand vizier.

When at the palace, the sultan ordered for Madheman to be bathed and given normal clothes and be put to the menial labor of cleaning the floors of his palace. With a puritan work ethic, wisdom beyond his station, and an immense appreciation for his removal from the Agrabah underworld, Madheman succeeded diligently at any task given to him. He did everything flawlessly and efficiently and the sultan always noticed his good work and honest life. From floor cleaning to jubba ironing to tiger groomer, Madheman was promoted in the sultan’s household until he was eventually his personal confidant, esteemed advisor and de-facto grand vizier.

This quick ascension made many other members of the royal house very jealous, most of all the grand vizier. He always knew the low-born nature of the beggar and could never reconcile this with the beggar’s place in the palace especially considering that it was practically his own. Soon, many of the subjects came together to collude against Madheman and decided that the grand vizier would be the executor of their plan. The next day, after convincing himself of his proficient acting skills, the grand vizier requested a private audience with the sultan to discuss a matter of great importance and urgency. When assured of their privacy, the grand vizier looked very apologetically at the sultan and began to describe the true nature of Madheman.

“I have been told some very disappointing news, your highness,” said the grand vizier. “I would not have come to tell you without first confirming it for myself, but I have investigated and sadly there is no denying that your beloved, trusted, and dear friend Madheman, is actually an evil, conniving, ruthless, power monger who is trying to gain your trust and then erode your kingdom to take over for himself. I have seen first hand that every morning, before he does anything of importance, before he even brushes his teeth or washes his face, Madheman goes into his cellar and prays to an evil genie there for your death and his overthrowing of Agrabah. I did not wish to believe it myself, because I only respected and loved your dear servant before this knowledge, but I have no doubt in the veracity of this intelligence as I have checked into it myself.”

The sultan originally conflicted at this news but after some thought, stood by his confidant and told the vizier that even if Madheman did go to the cellar every morning, there was no reason to believe this ludicrous story concocted by envious political opponents. The vizier, as his job was to convince, persisted in warning the sultan of the danger of his allegiance with Madheman. The vizier would not relent and the sultan would not believe rumors so it was ultimately decided that the sultan would himself seek the answer to these questions in order to appease the vizier. He resolved to go to Madheman very early the next morning and find out for himself.

The next morning, the sultan woke up Madheman at an obscene hour and said that there was a very urgent matter at the palace involving a neighboring nation that required Madheman’s wise counsel immediately. Completely surprised by the appearance of the sultan, instead of one of his servants, at his door, Madheman told the sultan that it would be his honor to come to the aid of his sultan and just needed to go back inside to get into proper dress to appropriately respect the sultan’s palace. The sultan told him not to worry about that because he was needed immediately and commanded him to come to the palace immediately. Madheman then politely told the sultan that he just needed to brush his teeth and he would come back outside in one second. The sultan said no but Madheman persisted in requesting permission to be allowed back into his house. The sultan, now doubting his previous conviction, finally told Madheman that he could only go back inside if the sultan was allowed to come with him.

Madheman said that because he was his sultan, he could not refuse his request but he would prefer if he didnt come with him. The sultan availed himself of the opportunity and with great trepidation followed Madheman into his cellar where he saw only a suitcase on a table. The sultan’s heart sank, believing the suitcase to be the dwelling of the evil genie and knowing that his next required step would be to execute his beloved Madheman. Madheman then opened the suitcase and a nasty stench filled the room. The sultan very carefully tiptoed over and peeked over Madheman’s shoulder and instead of seeing a genie, he saw very old, dirty clothes. Silently returning to his previous position, he waited for Madheman to finish his prayer over the clothes and they went outside to go to the palace.

The sultan asked Madheman what that was about and Madheman told him that those were the clothes that the sultan first saw him in. He never wanted to forget where he came from and always wanted to be greatful for what he had risen to. His ritual was solely in order to never take anything for granted because he was really a beggar and no amount of money or power would make any difference to him.

The sultan was very impressed with his wisdom and honesty. He beheaded the grand vizier and his cohorts.

Tags: story madheman

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